Cómo cagarla en un discurso improvisado y que te hagan caso

Casado tritura al «presidente ausente Sánchez» en un discurso improvisado y sin la ayuda de papeles

El presidente del PP, Pablo Casado, explica que se abstiene en la alarma de 6 meses para "no dejar sin mecanismo jurídico a las comunidades".

Fuente:  https://okdiario.com/espana/pablo-casado-tritura-presidente-ausente-sanchez-discurso-improvisado-sin-ayuda-papeles-6355058

Cerrando la boca pensarán que eres tonto.

Y hablando demasiado dirán que eres un plasta.

Si improvisas un discurso tienes las de perder.

La cagarás a no ser que sigas algún consejo.

Tú no das discursos: hablas de tu mili.

Ningún hombre aceptará un consejo, pero todos aceptarán dinero. De donde se deduce que el dinero vale más que el consejo.

Cagarla es fácil si no te preparas

La mejor improvisación viene de la perfección, dicen los eruditos.

Es decir, practicar mucho.

Pero a veces en las comidas de empresa te toca hablar sin previo aviso.

Te levantas.

Te pones nervioso.

Y acabas diciendo tonterías sobre brindar por los compañeros y esas mierdas.

La cagas si no te preparas.

Estos son tiempos de uniformidad obligatoria en todo. Nunca el mundo ha sido tan desigual en brindar oportunidades y tan parejo en los hábitos que impone.

Un discurso en el que la cagues te puede salir bien

 

Cuando te digan de improvisar un discurso cuéntales una historia personal.

Una historia personal que te deje en evidencia.

Nadie se lo creerá.

Será una cagada real pero triunfarás.

La historia personal atrae a todo el mundo, y más si te deja en evidencia.

Se llama efecto payaso: todos nos identificamos con su tragedia, pero nos reímos porque sabemos que es una representación.

Por lo tanto, sin caer en contar historias de mierda sobre tu vida, cuenta una historia en la que dejes caer que eres un patán: tu discurso de mierda será la hostia, pese a ser improvisado.


Composición de fotografías de la imagen destacada:


Payaso

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